Mum's Monday: Johnny English Strikes Again

When all the agents are exposed, there is only one thing to do, bring back a school teacher. This is a clever start except the lessons are a bit out of the ordinary, and now we see half term awaits Johnny English. This is a case of ‘Scraping the bottom of the barrel’. This also shows you shouldn’t give Johnny a stun grenade.

Now with ‘What’s a Bough?’ (Ben Miller), Johnny can collect his equipment, this is brilliantly thought-out where modern times and an ‘Old school’ agent comes together.

This is now where the film becomes a little predictable, Johnny is in the vicinity of fire the suspense is well done and just enough. It is amusing to hear of the ‘Cyber attacks’ and yes the fire, if not the agent is ‘Making progress’. This film also high-lights the modern convenience of a mobile phone.

This is a fast paced film and the magnetic boots scenes are so cleverly funny to watch. This film also shows it is not a good idea to damage your hearing when you are trying to stay stealth.

This film seems to deliberately not want to stand the test of time and Johnny doesn’t seem to want to change his ‘Old school’ thoughts. Yes, this does seem stereotypical but due to the nature of this film the characteristics of Johnny English is what it is and strangely works, and yes a car does need petrol.

Those poor cyclists although the gas masks are a nice touch, also another useful trait of an agent it is to have a good memory.

Now the Cyber expect Jason Volta (Jake Lacy) has arrived and he is so good in so many bad ways

The chaos continues, and Bough should have labelled that tube, but it is good to see Johnny almost safe, well and enjoying the dance floor as a result.

It is amusing to hear about the continuing Cyber-attacks and London is not too far away from France when you are on energy pills, sadly, they do wear off though.

Now Johnny wide awake and has come across virtual reality, these scenes are so brilliantly coordinated that they ‘Blow my mind’ they are my favourite part of this film as they are so amusing to watch. However, the wheel chair part could be seen as over the top, but as in-keeping with this film, anything, is possible.

Now a team being chased by dogs is also amusing to see and what is also good to see is what can be achieved when you are wearing handcuffs and have access to a learner car. This part also makes me question ‘Why is it there is always an obstacle in the way? and this film doesn’t disappoint however, small of an inconvenience it is.

Now it brings me to a part that, to me, is out of place and ill-fitting even for this film. It is when the learner driver Mrs Trattner (Pauline McLynn) seems to drives off with confidence after Johnny English gets out of the car. it just doesn’t seem right for that to have happened after the previous scenes, and there is no indication they have changed the driver in the car. however, the wrong phone brings the film back on its natural track. although it now takes a sad turn, but Bough has a plan.

The warning given is really clever, as we see further on in the film, for future thinking. There is however, still time for things to go wrong in other amusing ways first. And the mission is now complete with two well placed phones, sorry it seems three well placed phones, a well thrown tablet and a sword, and someone was exposed before going back to school with no toys, so let me finish this blog and the film by saying

‘BANG!’

The Written Podcast: Waking Up with an Alarm

Waking up without an alarm is gloriously relaxing. Not having to worry about being late for work or school or college, you can simply wake up naturally, when you’ve had enough sleep. This feeling of relief is felt the most during Bank Holiday Mondays. Here in the UK, we have four Bank Holidays scattered throughout the year, where we get three days off instead of the usual two. Going to bed on Sunday night knowing you don’t have to wake up early in the morning can help with having a better night’s sleep, and waking up on a Monday – on a day you’re usually at work – knowing you’ve got another day to relax. What I like the most is when I wake up at the time I’m usually leaving the house to go to work, or when I’m walking in through my work’s front doors, it can take a load of stress off your shoulders.

Of course, we don’t just have Bank Holiday Mondays, we also have our set number of days of holiday we can take throughout the year as well. Having an entire week without the need to wake up with an alarm clock is satisfying. On an unintentionally selfish level which our subconscious tricks us into thinking, we’ve all woke up at the time your colleagues are starting their shift and been happy you’re still in bed – even more so when it’s raining heavily and you can simply roll over onto your side and close your eyes for a few more minutes.

There are occasions however, when even on our holidays we have to use an alarm to wake up early due to certain commitments, whether we’ve got plans for a day trip out, or we have to be somewhere important at a precise time, but it still can be relaxing. Sure, you’re waking up at the same time as you would if you were to go to work, or maybe even earlier, but because you’re not going to work, there is still that level of relief from the daily stresses you go through for the majority of the day. If you have an exciting trip planned, you may leave the house at the time you’d normally leave for work, but instead go to a theme park, or head to an airport to catch a plane where you’d end up on a beach in sunny weather drinking orange juice with little umbrellas on the top.

I’ve been waking up with an alarm for years now. Since high school. Comparatively, it’s rare for me to wake up without an alarm than with, and therefore my body clock as adjusted to waking up at the time I’ve been doing so for a while now, I actually wake up just before my alarm goes off. Only a few minutes before my alarm goes off, but nevertheless, I’m waiting for it to scream its head off. And that’s when things take a sudden change. You see, with your body clock set to waking up a few minutes before the alarm, that becomes you’re natural waking up time, so you’re relaxed. The problem we all succumb ourselves to is waiting for that alarm to go off before getting up on the basis we’re all so very comfy. When the alarm eventually does go off and we turn it off, suddenly our beds become even comfier, and we struggle to pull ourselves out from under the covers.

The opposite effect can happen, for if we’re having a difficult and rough night and we just cannot find the right position to sleep and the bed just doesn’t feel at all as comfy as it normally does – but the moment the alarm goes off we’re practically falling asleep in seconds, with the bed wrapping itself around us to make sure we’re getting the rest we should’ve gotten throughout the night.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m not complaining about having to go to work, but how nice would it be if we could wake up naturally and get ready for work at our leisure and leave the house when we’re sorted? The problem with that is, the complete inconvenience it’ll be on the work itself. I can guarantee most managers wouldn’t get in before the colleagues as they do have a much more of a stressful job.

Moving onto a slightly different but relevant topic, I discovered a couple of years back a top tip for those who have difficulty sleeping and it’s all down to the automatic subconscious effect we have when our alarm goes off – how the bed instantly feels much more comfortable the moment it does start screaming. If you frequently have difficulty getting comfy in bed and struggle to sleep, set your alarm clock to an extremely early time in the morning; for example, 2AM. When the alarm goes off and you’ve turned it off, you then can simply roll over and not get up for another few hours. You do have to make sure another time on your alarm is set so you don’t sleep passed the time you’re meant to get up. Knowing that you don’t have to get up upon the alarm going off, the instant effect where the bed is feels comfortable kicks in and it helps you sleep. Those who do this technic have reported them getting better night sleeps.

In fact, those who don’t struggle with sleeping but tried it out anyway as a baseline, actually reported them getting better night’s sleep than if they were to sleep all the way through, and a few of them also documented having better dreams, even lucid dreams as the dream they were having was interrupted with the alarm, but because it’s still fresh in the mind upon going back to sleep the dream resumes, bringing with it a sense of familiarity and realisation you’re in a dream, resulting in a lucid dream.

Lucid dreaming is fun. I’ve only had three lucid dreams I can remember. They say you can train yourself to have lucid dreams every night, but I haven’t attempted to practice. I just want to go to sleep.

Anyway, going back to having an alarm clock – I did try the strategy of setting the alarm to go off during the night just to see how it’ll work, and unfortunately it made me lousy in the morning. I guess it doesn’t work for everybody, but if you’re having difficulty sleeping I’d certainly recommend trying that plan out, as the positive effects are almost instant and helps boost your overall productivity throughout the day.

Thanks for reading

Antony Hudson

(TonyHadNouns)

Film of the Week: Iron Man

Going back to 2008, when I was still in high school, the first film of the MCU was released. Except I didn’t know anything about the MCU at the time, and my first encounter with this film was during the last day of term before the summer holidays and if we had finished all our work for the school year, the teachers stuck on a film as a reward for all our hard work. In science, Iron Man was the film of choice. Whilst it was awesome to be watching a film instead of working, a couple of us did wonder if it was necessary to stick on a film because our “science lesson” was only an hour long, meaning the teacher would have to stop the film half way through. Of course, those who wondered that did so in their heads because if we said anything aloud, the teacher might have realised this and made us do work instead.

I hadn’t seen Iron Man before then, so there was no clear indication of what the film would be like, because if it was a terrible film, whilst the substitution was doing school work, I at least would like to enjoy the hour, not be bored. I was far from being bored. This was way back in 2008, so the TV and DVD combo was nowhere near the quality of today, but even then the school managed to get what appeared to be the lowest end, so we weren’t expecting miracles. It’s a massive compliment to Iron Man that, even with what the film had to work with, I was drawn in.

At first the film was something just to pass the time with – I wasn’t doing any work so I’m going to enjoy this film – but the moment Tony Stark emerged from the cave in his first version of the Iron Man armour, that was when the entire game changed – that was when things elevated to the next level. From that moment on, seeing Tony Stark epically build an upgraded version and test it out on the terrorists, walking away from an exploding tank accompanied by a hefty rock soundtrack – I was utterly disappointed when the lesson came to an end and our science teacher turned off the TV. I so wanted to see what happens next, especially when learning Obadiah Stain was slowly revealing himself as the main antagonist to us audience.

That same day, after school, with Iron Man still engrained in my mind’s eye, I asked my mum and dad to buy that film for me just so I can see the ending, and I was not let down when I finally saw the climactic battle between Tony Stark and Obadiah Stain. I only found out about some sort of continuation via the end credits scene, which I didn’t know the film had and only found out about it when leaving the credits to run whilst I went to make myself a drink. I knew nothing about the Avengers or the MCU, and so I saw Nick Fury’s words as setting up a sequel only, which it technically did as well.

It was only during my college years when in 2012, when I was alerted to the Avengers Assembled coming out and the five films leading up to them did I truly understand that there was an interconnecting universe featuring Iron Man.

Upon seeing The Avengers Assemble I was fully hooked on the idea of an interconnecting universe and couldn’t wait to see the other films. I saw Phrase One backwards – because I was recommended to see the first Avengers film, I did so at the cinema, but only afterward did I see the other four films leading up to it – The Incredible Hulk (and yes I was confused as to why there was a different actor playing Bruce Banner) Iron Man 2, Thor, and Captain America: The First Avenger.

Fast forward to 2019, 21 interconnecting films later, the four Avengers film is hitting cinemas on the 25^th April, and I cannot wait. A lot of effort and love has been put into making sure the MCU is the best it can possibly be. It’s a journey I was happy to stumble upon during science class, and does make me wonder, if I hadn’t seen the film then, would I have only been alerted to the MCU when in college in 2012. I’m glad I’m not being alerted now, because I’d have a lot of catching up to do and probably a few questions as to how I was able to not hear about the MCU at all, especially considering my love of films as a whole.

Thanks for reading

Antony Hudson

(TonyHadNouns)

Mum's Monday: The Shell Seekers (1989)

In this heart-warming version of The Shell Seekers, based on the book of the same name by Rosamunde Pilcher. Although we see that it follows the book to a point. Nancy (Anna Carteret) first comes across all nice and caring, only to quickly become her true ‘worrying about money’ self as in the book.

Although in the later 2006 version more of the book has been made into a visual representation, this one has less of the book in it, but all the important elements of the story are there with only some differences.

From the sunny climate of Ibiza to rainy England, it is nice to see Penelope Keeling (Angela Lansbury) reaction to Olivia (Patricia Hodge) and Antonia (Sophie ward) turning up on her door step.

It is nice to see Nancy and Penelope kind of make-up, only to have Noel (Christopher Bowen) act like his father, Ambrose.

Some of the story is cold and nasty with no respect for memories and processions. This is the essence of the story as a whole. The mother being Penelope has a sentimental painting and fond memories of her father, the painter Lawrence Stern (Andrew Keir), yet her children apart from Olivia, who are over stretched financially and have big ideas beyond their means and their small flat are only looking at the financial gains from the paintings.

The flash backs throughout this version are well done, although some are a bit quick, where others are sad to see.

It is so nice to see Penelope enjoying Cornwall, visiting old haunts, there isn’t much of a script but there doesn’t need to be.

It is a surprise to see someone from Penelope’s past turn up as it is very different than in the book.

It is also nice to hear all the nice things being said between Penelope and Nancy, proving there were some good times.

The wedding between Danus (Mark Lewis Jones) and Antonia is very different in this version as well.

The only person who we don’t see, but he is mentioned all throughout as having a key role in the story is Penelope’s late husband Ambrose. Yes, he needed to be referenced, but it does work with just that, he didn’t need to be physically in it.

I am glad Penelope found what she was looking for in Cornwall and that she could reflect on her life, it gave the story a deeper meaning of a mother’s love.

The ending is very different from the book, but overall it is an extremely well done version of the story within it.

The Written Podcast: I Have a Soft Spot for The Blues Brothers 2000

The first Blues Brothers has become a classic. Filled to the brim with quality music, extremely talented musicians who are still considered as legends in their chosen instruments, and of course, one of the greatest car chases in cinema history where they actually filmed the Blues Mobile going at 120MPH down the streets of Chicago. It’s an epic feel-good film that’ll get your toes tapping whilst sitting on the edge. And of course, how can you forget the insanity that was the final few moments, when huge numbers of Police Officers, army officers, SAS officers, helicopters, boats, and even tanks swarm around one building as the Blues Brothers rush to pay the churches taxes. It’s only when they complete their mission from God do they get caught. In short, it’s an iconic masterpiece.

Which is why when The Blues Brothers 2000 came out, it was widely regarded as a huge leap from the original. The sequel was panned by critics and members of the public alike who saw it as an insult to the original. It was made in memory of those who sadly passed away between films: John Belushi, Cab Calloway and John Candy. The opening shot saw the release of Elwood Blues (Dan Aykroyd) from prison accompanied by a simple rendition of John the Revelator. A promising start to what could only be another iconic masterpiece. What we got instead was three new singers of the band – including a ten-year-old kid who actually doesn’t do much during the film, and the inclusion of a witch capable of changing people into rats. That must have been extremely confusing for devoted fans of The Blues Brothers, especially if they’ve been following them since their first introduction on Saturday Night Live.

For most people, The Blues Brothers 2000 is not a Blues Brothers film; the only Blues Brothers film is the first, and no amount of defence will change their minds. Fair enough, whilst the title of this article is referring to my attempt to changing their minds, I’m not going to do that. What I want to do is explain why the sequel isn’t so bad in my eyes.

The reason why I have a soft spot for The Blues Brothers 2000 is because, when I was younger, it was the first of the two I watched. Let me explain. The film is rated 15 here in the UK, but now and again when I was younger – before fifteen years old to be precise – my mum and dad would allow me to watch a film that’s rated higher than my age if it was considered tame for that particular certificate – a fairly reasonable and justifiable reason. My younger-self saw The Blues Brothers 2000 and enjoyed every minute of it, on the basis that it had staggering car chases, upbeat music, and magic – all three elements needed to keep a young boy entertained regardless of what film it is. I mean, it included a monumental car crash scene where Police Cars just kept piling on top of one another for literal minutes – that blew my mind with the amount of awesome that scene contained.

There is another moment before the massive car crash scene when the band is playing at a festival and playing the Bluegrass song, Riders in the Sky. As they start playing, a horrendous storm formed and pelted it down with rain – and emerged from the clouds were actual ghost riders in the sky. Skeletal knights wielding swords riding skeletal horses blowing fire from their noses. A world away from the original Blue Brothers film, but for a young mind like mine back then, that was utterly incredible and epic.

A little later I did watch the first, and I will admit, at the time I enjoyed the sequel more than the first back then simply because it was the first one of the two I saw and the first didn’t include imagery anywhere near as epic as the sequel did. I didn’t find it boring in anyway – I certainly did enjoy it throughout because of the epic car chases and good music throughout, but the sequel was better in my child’s mind. Not only that, but the thrill of watching a film that’s rated above my actual age, it was a privilege, and seeing imagery as epic as skeletons riding in the sky and witches using magic, it was much better than the films I was supposed to be watching at the time. If this is what is included in films rated 15, then I’m missing out on so much epic.

I have already acknowledged the greatness that is the first film, The Blues Brothers, and I want to acknowledge further and say, as I grew up and looked at both films differently, I admitted the first was the best on the basis it was more grounded and less over the top. I did believe the first would be somewhat similar to that of the sequel, because I just didn’t understand how anything worked back then, and so yes, I was a little disappointed with the lack there of anything remotely close to what was in the sequel, except for the car chases – especially the first one when they go smashing through an entire shopping centre, that brought an entertaining grin on my face.

In conclusion, I now see the first being the better film, but the sequel has place in my child’s heart for being so epic back then. Now I’ve grown up and can see the massive difference between the two and why the first is greater than the second, but that doesn’t stop me from enjoying the sequel. I still do watch it in the evenings, and appreciate it for what it is. I do understand why people don’t like it, or complete disregard it was an actual Blues Brothers film, and their reasons do make sense, but I don’t watch it because I’m considering a superior film over the first, I watch it because it’s entertaining for my reasons only.

Thanks for reading

Antony Hudson

(TonyHadNouns)

Film of the Week: Shazam

A superheroes go, Shazam is one of the weirdest yet, especially when wording the synopsis as “a fourteen-year-old boy is chosen to wield the power of Shazam; by calling out the name, he transforms into a superman-like, grown man superhero and must save the world from the seven deadly sins.” Doesn’t get any weirder than that, can it?

Well, it does, but unfortunately, not for the best of reasons. Shazam is the first DC movie within the extended universe to be lighter in tone than any movie before it. DC is known for being dark and gritty with serious tones throughout, which no one has a problem with if the films were made well. Batman Vs Superman was slaughtered by the public for various reasons, The Justice League was panned by the public for poor special effects of the main villain, Batman’s seemingly drastic personality change from the previous film, and Suicide Squad has been ridiculed by even the studio itself in other films, such as The Lego Batman movie. It’s all well and good poking fun at yourself from time to time, but the moments those movies chose to parody shouldn’t have been those moments anyway.

Shazam is – and I’m going to say – the most MARVEL movie DC has done yet. Not nitty and gritty, but instead light-hearted throughout, with jokes scattered throughout. Except, those moments you know were blatant jokes, made with the intention of making the audience laugh, fell flat. There were only a couple of times throughout the movie where I laughed, every other time I just sat there, with a blank face. The concept of Shazam, where a fourteen-year-old boy magically changes into a super-powered man whenever he says the word, “Shazam” is never taken seriously until the climactic battle – and that is a tactful move to make, because of course it is a strange idea.

The handling of the character suddenly changing from fourteen-year-old boy to a grown man at the beginning, was done well. At the start of acquiring his powers, there was a montage of him testing what powers he does and doesn’t have, then going overboard with it and not taking the powers seriously, as one wouldn’t be considering the character of Shazam is, technically, still fourteen-years old. But when it came down to it, he did step up and started using his powers on a more responsible level. There is some good character growth within the movie, I’ll give them credit for that. The special effects are also good enough to not be distracting from the rest of the scene, so it is a good watch, but noticeably, just about a tolerable one. I haven’t seen any official confirmation of this, but they should have stated the target audience of this film was four children, because that’s exactly what this film is, a children’s movie.

There is one decent Easter egg in the movie which I found was rather clever. During the first fight between Shazam and the host for the seven deadly sins, he momentarily halts as he discovers to be standing on a piano on the floor, incredibly similar, if not identical, to the one seen in Big – a classic film starring Tom Hanks, about a boy who wishes himself to be an adult and wakes up the next morning an actual adult. Since the piano dance seen in Big is one of the most memorable moments, and the two films sharing the connection of a character becoming an adult in one way or another, I found it a touching reference, albeit a now unfortunately obscure reference that would wash over people’s heads as the majority of people who would watch the film wouldn’t have seen Big.

Shazam isn’t a bad film, and maybe I’ve been too harsh on a few points. In conclusion, it just isn’t my cup of tea, but I do see how children would enjoy and learn from the moral message within – “there’s a superhero in all of us.”

What is strange, is how Captain Marvel and Shazam were both released in the same month, and technically, those two are the same characters...

Thanks for reading

Antony Hudson

(TonyHadNouns)

Mum's Monday: Awakened by James S. Murray with Darren Wearmouth

At the start of this book it highlights the importance of a thorough survey before digging a subway train tunnel. The realism and the right level of suspense is really well written and yes everything is perfect. The pavilion has everything you would want as a passenger using the Z Train in New York city.

All the awaiting dignities and press, you would expect to see on such an occasion, want now on this maiden run of the train, is the train and passengers to arrive. Sadly, although the train does arrive the passengers have been replaced by lots of blood splatters inside the train carriage. This is a fast paced story.

This story also highlights the fine line between keeping a man, not just any man, in this case the president of the United States of America safe and a president wanting to put his countries people first. This reminds me of a captain on a sinking ship. The captain is the last one to leave or goes done with his ship, either way putting his passengers and crew first.

The aftermath of what was witnessed when the train pulled in at the station is realistic. The suspense is still there as in they now have to suffer a methane leak. This goes on enough to make it intriguing and make me as the reader want to read on.

Within the rescue people’s psyche is the need to rescue. It is written in an intelligent way so that the two men entering from the New Jersey side of the Hudson river, yes they find the breach in the tunnel but are cleverly lured to a false rescue mission, using the over-whelming need to help installed in the men. This is written in an in-depth, brilliant way.

At the start of chapter twelve the swat team are entering the New Jersey side of the subway tunnel. This made me want to shout at the book ‘No’, even though me as the reader gets a sense of what is going to happen, there is still the sense of intrigue to make you read on.

Well, the ones trapped are now aware that it isn’t terrorists that they are dealing with. It is sad to see Mr Munoz have his past bought up, especially at a time where I would agree with Mr Munoz’s character the way it is written as an inappropriate time.

It is clever that the creatures, not only attack they can imitate human voices, this confuses things and adds depth to the story, making it not just a blood bath.

In chapter sixteen it shows the importance of not cutting corners on a job, however, long it takes, in this case, three years, the truth comes out in the end.

There seems to be a glimmer of hope, but it does make me question ‘Can help/ rescue arrive before the oxygen tanks run out?’

In chapter eighteen the authorities are continuing to find ways of deterring the monsters. This is nice to read as it gives me as the reader the hope that at least some people will survive the creatures and get out alive.

It is clever in chapter twenty how it comes to light that the president is made to look involved in the reason the creatures have been awakened. The president was not going to be black mailed by Van Ness. It is also clever how other real life events have been linked to Van Ness as well. It just goes to show when something happens, who knows the exact truth, and what really happened at the time and behind the scenes. This is good at getting you thinking where fiction meets fact. The research to enhance this story has been very well done. By the end of chapter twenty we see it confirmed as to what deters the creatures, giving me as the reader more hope that the trapped characters can get out alive, ones that deserve to in some of the character’s eyes anyway, unfortunately it is not wise to go up against the president.

In chapters twenty-one and twenty-two we see two very different approaches to the attack, first the swat team are taking a slow, controlled measured approach, whereas Sal is taking a ‘Gun-Ho’ approach and driving the diesel train straight into the tunnel. This second approach is fool-hardy and sadly, I don’t think will end well. There is a life lesson to learn in this part.

It is well thought-out as to what powers and types of attack the creatures have. Flament knows more than he is letting on, I hope he is a good guy, it looks like it.

I do like how they can combat the creatures, although, it is a simple solution, it still had to be worked out and sometimes the simple ways are the most effective. Making this story somewhat realistic.

The story the president tells about the ‘Foundation’ is a very interesting one. it is brilliant how it all comes together, in chapter twenty-four.

In chapter twenty-five the connection of the women as to why they were captured is a well thought-out idea. At this point it is unclear as to the significance of why? But it is still a good idea.

In chapter thirty-three although positive it is still intense to read, the suspense builds as the rescue barely goes to plan.

In chapter thirty-four it is clever how ancient carvings are linked to the creatures. The history lesson is really well interweaved into the story. We know this book is a work of fiction but with all the real life references this book could be real, even believable. The research for this book has been really well done. There is so much to give this story depth.

Overall this book keeps you reading and wanting to read more.

The Written Podcast: Self-service Tills

Every major supermarket has the self-service checkouts. Tesco, Asda, Sainsbury’s, Morrison’s (I don’t enter Waitrose because every time I get within a hundred yards of the place, I can sense an impending debt creeping its way toward me – like seriously, how expensive is Waitrose. I can get exactly the same items in Asda for much cheaper than from Waitrose. Why?).

When the self-service checkouts were first introduced, it was believed by many to decrease the time spent purchasing their items, allowing for better customer experience. On the other hand, it decreased the need for actual employees to man the checkouts. It was considered a controversial move on the most part, but it’s an idea that never went away, but instead increased in strength. Self-service checkouts are, for introverts like me, a way to purchase my junk food and fizzy drinks to spend all day on the sofa watching TV with a little less guilt than if I were personally handing them over to someone to scan, with a scanning look on their face. Whilst obviously they weren’t, because they just want to get you processed as quickly as possible, I always felt as if they were judging me. Like that time when I was working in 99P Stores and a woman came up to me holding 10 boxes of condoms – there were many questions regarding why so many, but of course, not only could I word my curiosity, but also had to keep a natural expression throughout the entire interaction. The self-checkout would prevent any awkwardness from assistant to customer, and just receive the judgemental looks from other customers instead.

How many times have you used a self-checkout and it went wrong? It’s annoying when they do go wrong, because all you want to do is pay for your items and get out of the supermarket. Having the machine that you’re depending on, going wrong, is something you’re obviously going to be angry at. Having to wait for a person to come over and press whatever key combination is necessary to make the machine work properly again is frustrating, because these self-checkouts aren’t government by one person per machine, but instead one person manages six or more self-checkouts at once. If one or more machine goes wrong at once, you’d have to wait for that singular employee to work their way around, solving each problem before getting to yours. You may be lucky in that yours is the first machine they get to whilst making their way round, but you know that’s not as often as the machines actually going wrong.

Admittedly, over the few years the self-checkouts have been around, they have certainly improved on their performance. I dare say that the number of times they do go wrong is not as often as you may believe they do, it’s just our anger at the time when they do go wrong, we automatically believe they go wrong all the time. It’s the level of frustration at wanting a quick getaway only for it to morph in one where you have to interact with someone, where you have to wait for the problem to be fixed; that’s not what the definition of a quick getaway is.

But it doesn’t matter how much we try and eradicate human interaction from our shopping experiences, we have to admit there will always be some level of communication. We still all make the mistake of taking films and clothing through the checkouts, completely forgetting they have security tags on, so you have to call someone over to take them off. You might as well just go through an ordinary checkout with that level of failure to prevent interaction.

And now we have a different version of self-checkouts. One where you are pre-packing whilst you walk around the shops. You scan the item, and then put it in your bag. If you were to do that without scanning, you’d be taken to one side for stealing. Once you’ve finished, you go to the self-service tills 2.0 and upload all that you’ve scanned to the system, and then pay for it. 2.0 only means they’re going to need a lot of explaining so customers can use them, which means, yet another attempt at making the customer experience quick and easy has resorted in even more interaction that before – it makes no sense.

You have the option of the machine printing a receipt or not. We don’t want yet another piece of paper cluttering the bottom of our bag, immediately forgotten about the moment we walk out of the shop only to be chucked in the bin when we do our yearly clean out of our bags, by which time we probably don’t actually own the thing we brought as what is mostly brought from supermarkets is consumable. If that machine says it’s scanned properly by there was an undetected glitch within the system so upon walking out the alarms goes off because they believe you’ve stolen something – and that security guard comes over, and you don’t have your receipt, you then have to go through all that unnecessary hassle of proving you definitely purchased a Twix, which by the time you’d be allowed to walk out of the supermarket, it would’ve melted in your pocket, preventing you from enjoying it as intended so many minutes beforehand.

What I’m trying to say is, we can’t see the self-checkouts as a way of completely eradicating the need for human interaction, because no matter what processes the supermarkets implement, the need for communication with strangers will always be there, whether necessary or unnecessary. As introverted as I am, and as some of you reading this are, whilst we love how quick the machines can be when working properly, we must accept that the only way we’re ever going to further decrease the need for us meeting strangers, is to buy online – but even then a human (a stranger) must deliver your shopping. You may be within the comfort of your own home, and it may be raining outside, and you may still be in your pyjamas, but unless you specifically request the delivery driver to leave your shopping outside for you to collect once fully dropped off, us introverts will have to accept we cannot completely eradicate the need for communication with strangers.

Thanks for reading

Antony Hudson

(TonyHadNouns)

Film of the Week: Dumbo (Specifically, the Pink Elephants Scene)

Disney’s Dumbo, released in 1941, featured the famous scene when the main character, Dumbo and his best friend, Timothy Q. Mouse, started hallucinating pink elephants. The scene itself was a lucid, fluid couple of minutes of wacky animation accompanied by a bouncy soundtrack and strong vocals. It was intended to scare the main characters, so of course it weirded out us viewers. It was the one scene that people remembered the most of the entire film, and is still recognised as one of the best pieces of animation in Disney’s achieve.

Disney is now going through a rather peculiar phase where they are updating their most famous animations into live-action films. When it was announced they’d be updating The Lion King, it just didn’t make any sense. For Disney, I can sort of see their point of view. They’re allowing new audiences to enjoy their classic stories in higher quality – and with technology in the film industry advancing astronomically quickly each year, reinventing their classic stories doesn’t seem all that bad of an idea, especially if it gets the newer generations enjoying the much beloved classics. The Lion King was released in 1994, the year I was born, so I would not have consciously enjoyed it for a least 4 to 5 years later; but my point is that was the only version of that film I could enjoy. Dumbo was released in 1941, so it was out a good few years before I sat down and watched it; but my point is that was the only version of that film I could enjoy. With The Lion King being reimagined, I do feel as if it is a little unnecessary.

The Lion King is a beautiful masterpiece. It’s majestic soundtrack, it’s epic, emotional rollercoaster of a story – surely they best way to get the newer generation to enjoy the likes of The Lion King is to sit them in front of the original, not update it – maybe remaster it in HD, but not renew it with computer animation.

My opinion is unchanged with Dumbo. However, my curiosity was caught when I heard who was directing it. Tim Burton, known for his weird and wonderful imagination – who likes to put a wacky spin on his films. Dumbo features a wonderful imaginative scene, with a wacky spin, known as the Pink Elephants scene. Putting the mind of Tim Burton in charge of revamping that scene did sound intriguing. How was he going to do it? What effect will it have on the viewer? It certainly needed to aim high to even be on par with the original. Revamping anything comes with the sense of knowing your version will be compared to that of the original no matter what, and prepare yourself for many people to state the original is better for many reasons.

This isn’t going to be a standard movie review, this will be my opinion on that specific scene, The Pink Elephants scene. And I’m going to start off with stating how disappointed I felt with it. It was flat, hollow, and not near enough to anything the original scene conveyed. I have acknowledged a couple of times that the world of animation does allow for higher limits to that of live action as more can be achieved with animation than with live-action, but the Pink Elephants scene was entirely CGI anyway, and with the billions of pounds Disney makes in a year, with them wanting to impact the newer generation with their classic stories, I would’ve thought they’d put much more into what they did. Even if that particular scene cost hundreds of millions of pounds to make, more than any other part of the film combined, I’m confident it wouldn’t have mattered because people would’ve enjoyed it, they would’ve liked the effect that scene had.

The original was filled with pure imagination and wondrous, never before seen weirdness, the live-action tried to acknowledge that, but all we were given to acknowledge that scene was a few sentient bubbles in the air. Sure, sentient bubbles in the air does sound weird in of itself, but the scene doesn’t last that long, those bubbles don’t do much, and there are too many breakaways to Dumbo and the circus performers casting the bubbles. What would have made the scene much better is if they replaced Dumbo and the performers with more bits of the sentient bubbles dancing in the air, we would’ve had a few seconds more animation and therefore possibly a better effect.

The director known for his wacky films, vivid imagination; all we see is a few bubbles in the air, dancing about. Dumbo is proving why no studio should revamp any of their classics, or at least, if they really, really want to revamp, then make sure the film is a synonym; not identical, but a film that gives off the same vibe. If Disney wants to give the newer generation a chance to enjoy the originals, then you’ve essentially got to recreate the originals. Not frame by frame, because then that really would be unnecessary, but to create the same effects we had when we were younger, watching that for the first time. What Disney should have done is made that Pink Elephants scene just as powerful as the first, so the revamped Dumbo is their classic for when they grow up into adults. Instead, all we get is a Dumbo that didn’t live up to any expectations and forced us adults to get the newer generation to sit in front of the original and prove to them that it’s superior, because it is.

It’s the same with Beauty and the Beast – God knows how that made a billion at the box office – and Lion King, and now Dumbo. They should at least give the impression that they want to convince us all of them were a necessary move.

And that concludes my rant.

Thanks for reading

Antony Hudson

(TonyHadNouns)

Mum's Monday: Saving Private Ryan

On the 6th June it will be 75 years since the D-Day landings on the Normandy beaches in France. This film starts off with the beach landings. The first approximately half hour, from the graveyard scenes until after the beach scenes, are so well done and realistic, cleverly using amputees when it needed to show limbs being blown off bodies. As a result of it being so good, I personally cannot watch this part of the film.

It is heart-warming to see that the army authorities realised that three letters on the same day would be devastating. However, all is not lost hence the name of this film.

There is an amusing part where the interpreter tries to carry all his equipment including his ‘Typewriter’ Captain Miller (Tom Hanks) holds up a pencil to him.

An interesting part to hear is when Private Carparzo (Vin Diesel) tells Corporal Upham (Jeremy Davies) not to follow army procedure, as it makes the Captain a target. This certainly makes you think.

This film high-lights the thin line between helping a family (humanity) and following orders. The horrors of war are the way it was.

During the second world war it was said that ‘Walls have ears’. In this case a wall literally did have, the discovery after a wall came down certainly makes you see why there were such phrases and more during the conflict.

So when looking for someone, with so many men fighting there is bound to be two or more with the same/similar names. If you are to pass on bad news it is best to give it to the right person.

It is sad to see the squad become what seems to be immune to the horrors of war, when they momentarily forget that each dog tag is a life lost.

Sometimes the simple ways are the most effective, just yell.

The horrors of war continue, it is good to see that sometimes it got to the soldiers and they just needed a bit of ‘Time out’. It is also shows that someone would do and say anything to save their own life, sincere or not, Captain Miller has a mission to complete and gave him the benefit of the doubt, however misguided in warfare. As tensions mount, Captain Miller opens up about his life and the mission, even if it is for his own benefit. It is lovely to hear that basically not killing other soldiers makes Captain Miller feel closer to home.

Having found Private Ryan (Matt Damon) although it is good to see his squad regarded as family, I still feel for his mother.

It is good to see the rescue squad help out and offering new ideas.

After some fun, yet tragic story telling a rumble starts. The suspense is just enough to keep you on the edge of your seat.

This film is so intense that it shows that if you just make ‘One’ shot, make it count. This is both seeing a justice served and compelling.

So did Private Ryan earn it? Answer yes, a big YES! A lovely ending.

A big thank you to Roy Hudson for helping with this Blog post.

The Written Podcast: Forgetting Things

It doesn’t matter how good your memory is, I’m confident in saying we all would like to have a better memory. We all forget things. Some people are gifted with remembering seemingly every piece of information they’ve ever been in contact with; other people seem to forget the very last thing that was either said to them or they read. There are methods which can help with enhancing your memory, but whether they are effective or not I cannot comment on as I’ve never used one of those methods. Nutritionists claim a certain diet can improve your memory, keeping your brain healthy at all times. It’s been noted that sitting in front of a computer for many hours each day can dramatically reduce your memory; we need to step outside more, ready a book more, play Sudoku more. But that’s the thing, these tactics people say are designed to enhance your memory may do just that, but they also phrase their findings as their way will completely prevent you from ever forgetting anything ever again. The person with the world’s most powerful memory will without a doubt admit to having forgotten something. It doesn’t matter how good your memory is, we all forget something at some point.

It’s quite sad when your start to realise that the majority of us have forgotten more than what we’ve learnt. How much information have we consumed at some point but then faded away? How much interesting facts have we stumbled upon only for them to disappear, never to be remembered again; and on some cases, we don’t even know we’ve forgotten them. Our brains are capable of extraordinary things, imagining the most wondrous fantasies, creating the most sophisticated technologies, piecing together seemingly impossible mysteries; yet our memories often prevent us from doing any of that because we’ve forgotten some crucial piece of information needed to help make whatever advancement needed.

How many times have your forgotten to do something at work? How many times have you forgotten to do something at home? How many times have you forgotten to do something when out and about? How many times have you forgotten in general? I certainly don’t know the exact number of times; nor can I even give you a rough estimation. It’s impossible to know for sure just how much information I’ve forgotten over my 24 years (soon to be 25 years).

It’s annoying when we forget. We may be a victim of a string of moments were nothing seems to sit in our brains; we just forget everything. Other times we may surprise ourselves with how excellent and seemingly flawless our memories are being. Those random moments of good and bad times only cements how mysterious our memories really are, because even though we do have some control over our memories – by teaching ourselves how to do this or that, speak another language, other times our memory is in control of us.

Muscle memory is a different type of memorising. Muscle memory is where we’ve done whatever it is so many times we don’t need to pause to think about how to do it, we just go ahead and do it immediately. There’s no period where we have to piece together what to do in our heads, we instantly know how to do it. Driving, touch-typing on a keyboard, the Doctor Who universe to name a few are all in what is known as muscle memory. Of course, it’s not a section where information gets filed to, we just learn how to do it and conduct what to do so many times we are confident in knowing we can never forget what’s in our muscle memory. I doubt I’m going to wake up tomorrow morning having completely forgotten how to drive a car, or how to perform touch-typing on a keyboard, or who the companion is in series 3 of the revived Doctor Who; incidentally it’s Martha Jones, playing by Angela Freeman (and now I did not have to look that up on Google to remember)

The easiest way to help remember any piece of information you have is to write it down. The act or taking a pen to paper and writing down what the other person is saying, helps massively. I deal with countless customers per day, both external and internal, and I’m getting constantly bombarded with information from every angle – required to remember pretty much everything I’ve been given to be used at a later time that very same day or later on in the week or further. I may take a customer’s phone number, but there’s no way I’d be able to remember every digit in that precise order straight away. Maybe if I dedicated a couple of hours solely remembering that string of numbers, I might be able to, but now when given to me there and then. The act of writing the number down on a notepad brings with it a sense of relief later on. Wanting to phone up a customer, I don’t have to strain myself in the hopes of guessing what they said, I’ll never remember the number first time. The relief that comes with knowing I have their number written down so I don’t have to worry about remembering, is of itself a powerful method of helping you remember things, paradoxically speaking.

By writing things down to prevent myself from worrying about remembering it later, I greatly reduce to stress of worrying whether I will remember that specific piece of information when I’m called upon to remember it so – finding it written down on my notepad relieves me of that pressure, prevents me from clouding my brain with worry, therefore keeping it relaxed to help me remember more. Whilst, of course, this method won’t actually allow me to have the most powerful memory in the world, but the act of writing it down means I don’t need to have one….

I’d like to think I do have a good memory, though. There’s certainly a lot of important information I need to remember, I have indeed remembered, but there are other times when of course, forgetting things does get in the way. Whether other things get in the way, you naturally just don’t do what you need to do, and that in turn can be very frustrating… it’s when we forget to write down what we’re required to remember do we then have a reason to start worrying, maybe?

Thanks for reading

Antony Hudson

(TonyHadNouns)

TV Show of the Week: Doom Patrol

I have stated it before, but I will state it once more; DC TV shows are far better than their films. Arrowverse is outstandingly superior to that of the DCEU. (Note: The Dark Knight Trilogy is not included within the DCEU, but is within a league of their own – with The Dark Knight possibly being the greatest superhero film of all time, with Spider-Man 2 a close second).

DC has recently released their own streaming service, DC Universe, where exclusive TV shows and films will be placed there to be watched for a fee. Well, Netflix, Amazon Prime, Hulu, Disney+ are having a slice, it makes sense DC to want to take part – because that’s where the majority of our content is watched nowadays, but that’s a different discussion. The first show was Titans, but it was quickly accompanied by Doom Patrol, a different feeling show.

There’s a character that breaks the fourth wall because he’s almost omnipotent, and therefore serves as the narrator/enemy of the series. Doom Patrol follows the lesser known heroes, from the first few moments of the first episode, this was no an ordinary DC product. It has a vague whiff of not taking itself seriously, from the few moments of absolute absurdity; at times comedic moments. I was starting to wonder if DC couldn’t do comedy, but it seems they do.

However, due to the absurdity of certain situations within the show, it does have the notion of being a niche show, only for a select few and not for the masses. Whether that is the case or not, the fact that DC has essentially launched their streaming service with a show pretty much vastly different from their nitty-gritty stuff, that is the very reason why they do TV shows better than films.

The only way I can wrap my head around this show being the way it is, is by discussion another show. Legends of Tomorrow has progressively increased the absurdity for comedic value from season to season, and season 4’s episode 9 hit a new level of absurdity – singing puppets, Fairy-God Mother’s robbing a bank, one character being turned into a cat – I couldn’t stop laughing throughout. It’s a show so different from Arrow, yet perfectly fits within the Arrowverse as a whole. Whilst of course Legends of Tomorrow and Doom Patrol are two very different shows, they do carry the same atmospheric feel, but on a different level to one another. Legends of Tomorrow doesn’t take itself seriously on a family-friendly basis, whereas Doom Patrol doesn’t take itself seriously on a more adult basis. Hopefully that clears it up for you. If it doesn’t, I’m not sure how best to describe it better.

Doom Patrol does its best to differentiate from other DC properties, and therefore is a strong recommendation by me, and does give a clear representation of how they want to differ from other streaming services. Doom Patrol is an entertaining ride, and one you’d probably become addicted to until the final closing moments of the series.

Thanks for reading

Antony Hudson

(TonyHadNouns)

Mum's Monday: Smallville

This serial is a spin off from the ‘Superman’ story, but this is the back story of Clark Kent (Tom Welling) being sent to earth to escape his home planet, which is being destroyed. Sadly, when he reaches earth, his arrival causes a meteor shower, and tragedy strikes.

Having being adopted as a little boy by a farmer and his wife, Jonathan (John Schneider) and Martha (Annette O’Toole) Kent, with the help of Lionel Luthor (John Clover), we now see Clark, having grown up and starting high school. This is where the story really gets going and shows all the trials of being in a high school environment but also trying to keep your superpowers a secret and also your one disadvantage, as in Kryptonite. 

We see that Clark and Lana Lang (Kristin Kreuk) were never going to work, because Clark felt guilty of the tragedy that happened at the beginning, but how much blame should, if any Clark take for what happened? I can see enough so as to not tell Lana the truth. 

It seems Lex Luthor (Michael Rosenbaum) was only trying to help people but was misguided by not knowing the whole truth. His experiments always went wrong and Clark was left to pick up the pieces. Then Clark trying to tell Lex to leave well alone on only half the information. It seems Lex didn’t stand a chance and Clark was self-inflicting ‘Banging his head against a brick wall’.

This concept made me question ‘Could Clark really be a good friend, however, when he did let his good friend Pete Ross (Sam Jones the 3^rd) know his secret, the burden became too much for Pete.

It is sad to see Clark couldn’t play in the Football team. The compulsory blood tests for drug enhancements would reveal much more than would be expected. That’s even if they could get the needle in his arm to take the blood in the first place.

As the series move on we see the characters leave school and as said Clark and Lana were never going to work. Lana has now moved on and is now with Lex (Much to everyone’s surprise and they are concerned) who had a thing for her for a while. I hoped this would work out but sadly true to Lex’s nature of messing a good thing up they split up. Using a, not strictly above board obtained divorce settlement, Lana sets up a surveillance room and Chloe Sullivan (Allison Mack) Lana’s and Clark’s friend from school gets involved. And this is where the story moves on further into the darker nature to be continued until Clark becomes the ‘Superman’ we all know is portrayed today.

In amongst all this darkness that has crept up quickly on the series there is a bit of light-heartedness in the episode where it is Clark and Lois Lane’s (Erica Durance) ‘Bachelor and Bachelorette party, which turned out to be another couples one as well, as we see Chloe and Oliver Queen (Justin Hartley) start married life in an unconventional way and after a bit of confusion, which would have taken some explaining.

This serial brings a whole new meaning to a ‘Coming of age’ series and I prefer the first few series to the last few. It seemed rushed as in they were running out of episodes and they had to make Clark turn from a farmer’s son to ‘Superman’ in the episodes they had left. It is a shame that they had to destroy The Talon and other links to him growing up in Smallville in the process it is like they wanted to wipe out all of his past.

It was good to see it all come together at the end and ‘Superman’ is now ready to save the world, as we know of him today.