The Written Podcast: Lunch Breaks

Having a lunch break can make or break a working day. A lunch break can help you not only feed yourself to regain energy and drink to keep hydrated, but to wind down from the working environment. From the moment you walk into the building you could be bombarded with series of questions relating to matter that may or may not have happened a couple of weeks ago of which you’re vaguely familiar of because you heard someone talk about said problem briefly on passing whilst on route to the toilets – and then suddenly you’re expected to be the expect of that problem, and solve it instantly with every small piece of detail and knowledge to keep everyone happy, even though you know perfectly well that no matter how much information you can provide and/or how much you even state you don’t have a clue what they are talking about; no one is ever going to be happy with your answer(s). I may have gotten a bit carried away there.

So when it comes to the much needed lunch break, you simply cannot wait to walk out of the building, leaving everyone else to deal with the tattered remains of some semblance that’s supposed to be a solution to a problem you’re not even sure was the one you started trying to fix two hours ago, but at this point every problem just blends into one, so when lunch comes around, who really knows at that point.

Whilst in the working environment, you have four types of people: Those who take lunch and those who do not, and those who think they’re not have a lunch but we all know they do, and then there are those who talk about what they’re going to have for lunch as if it’s some special banquette with a member of the royal family. Those who take lunch, take it religiously, every day, no matter what, at the same time, no matter what. Their time comes, they are out the door, leaving behind a dusty outline of themselves, evaporating all over you work, reminding you just how much time you’ve got left before it’s your time to make a statement. Those who don’t take a lunch, simply don’t have a lunch. If their job is to sit behind a desk, that’s exactly what they’ll do all day until it’s time to go home, ploughing on through their work.

Those who don’t take lunch are simply mind-blowing to those who do, because the people who do take lunch, if they’re required to stay behind just for a minute before heading off, it’s simply just too much effort. Expect an incredible amount of complaining about what time they got up in the morning, how little sleep they had, and if they don’t get a rest they’ll be burnt out and unable to continue, and for the rest of the day will be moping around because they didn’t get the full hour they do 99.99% have without any issues. In the meantime, those who don’t take lunch are observing the over-acting performance whilst proving just how much of a machine they are – before ultimately burning themselves eventually from lack of any proper rest, but they’re committed to not taking lunch because they have a point to prove to those who do take lunch – even though those who do take lunch will never understand what that point is so it would absolutely be meaningless to try and prove said point. Do they even know what the point they want to make is?

Those who do think they’re not getting a lunch but we all know they do; pop over the road to grab their food. You see, those who don’t take lunch, brings their food in with them so they don’t have to get up, but those who think they don’t take a lunch pops over the road and do their weekly shopping around the supermarket before popping back with fifteen minutes before the official end of their “would be” lunch break. Then, at the end of the day, at precisely the same time every day, without fail, they declare they’ve not had a break to everyone in the room, just to make sure it’s understood just how much of a trooper they are, and how committed they are to the team – whilst the kitchen’s fridge is packed full of groceries.

And finally, there are those who talk about what they’re going to have for lunch from the moment they step in through the door. Once lunch is over, they’ll discuss what they had in great detail, because we all want to know exactly how many pickles their burger had and how there was just too much sauce it dripped all over the place and at the end it disintegrated and they had to scoop the remnants of a burger from their tray and stuff it in their talkative mouth. The only time they’re not talking about their dinner is when they’re chewing it. This is where those people who do and do not take lunches unite – to complain about those who talk about every minute detail about their lunch. For a brief moment, for only but a couple of minutes, those who do and do not take lunches are on the same page, understanding each other, getting along with each other and laughing together, until it’s lunch time and the person who takes lunch disappears like Houdini right in front of everyone’s eyes.

Whilst on lunch, the environment changes and there are only two types of people; those who just want to be left alone but will take part in some conversations if talked to, and those who just don’t stop talking about what they’re going to be doing over the weekend or the previous weekend or that evening or the previous evening. Unbeknownst to both types of people, they are enemies.

They’re enemies because those who want to be left alone actually do want to be left alone and have time to themselves but kept on being disturbed and to keep piece they just take part out of curtesy, but mainly only listens, not really pay much attention to the full one-sided conversation, nods their heads smiles when appropriate and then lunch is over. Whilst having someone who basically only listens to what they’ve got to say does sound appetising to those who talks too much – it’s actually rather annoying. Every time they take a breath or end a sentence, those who want to be left alone goes back to being on their own, either read a book or watch the TV, or anything not connected to listening to the other person’s rambles. This creates a fissure between the two, as those who talk too much thinks the other person is being rude and not paying any attention.

But the two personality traits of the lunchbreak environment are so strong everyone immediately snaps into whichever one suits them the most. And the moment lunch ends, no comment is made about the battle of the two traits and the day continues forward.

I said at the beginning of this article that lunch can either make or break a working day, and I haven’t really explained how, just who attends or doesn’t attends lunch. It can make or break a day depends on what happens immediately after lunch is over. You can go away, leaving the office in disarray, and completely forget that you could come back in the same amount of disarray that was there when you left. You can feel rejuvenated after a good lunch, especially if you have the food you so fondly enjoy (the same meal deal you always have with no changes whatsoever, because thinking of having something different is just too risky as you might not actually like it and then the who lunch is ruined) but the moment you come back and are loaded with about a thousand different problems, all that rejuvenation goes straight out of the window, making you wonder if you had actually taken a lunch, but just skipped forward an hour in time. It can make your day if you come back and all is quiet – you leave pandemonium, you come back to piece. What could be more satisfying?

Thanks for reading

Antony Hudson

(TonyHadNouns)