The Watch – Part 205:

(Tom’s perspective)

Once I’ve found Pogo Street, what would I have achieved? I wouldn’t have achieved finding a place to eat, drink, or even a place to help me get out of here. All I would have achieved is finding a street of which I find the name of it mildly amusing, and the chances of there actually being any kind of help on Pogo Street is very slim. Where are you Sebastian? I said that before. He could turn up literally any second now, but so many seconds have passed since then. All I can do is sit and wait for him to arrive, and even though he could turn up here at any second, I just know that he won’t be here for a very long time to come. I don’t know why I know that, I just do. I know I shouldn’t be thinking of the worst, but right now, I don’t see any positive outcomes. All I have to do is find weirdly named streets, which now that I think about it isn’t actually that funny.

So, now what do I do?

Nothing. There is nothing that I can do. I’m in another universe completely. Sebastian and Amy are in another. Everyone I know are so far away. There is nothing to do. Absolutely nothing to do. For an indefinite amount of time.

I look ahead and see the street I’m standing on disappear behind the horizon once more and I sighed. I sighed because over that horizon is the same world as the one I’m standing on now. It doesn’t matter where I go, I will always be here. I can walk and walk and walk, yet I’ll be getting nowhere. I’ll be making no progress towards any help. I’ll be making the same amount of progress if I sit down where I’m standing and do nothing. No money, food, water. No friends, family, everyone else that I know. Just the same world.

I can’t stand here because I’ll be in people’s ways, and they have places to go and things to do. I don’t want to disturb their planned lives. I’m not going to ask myself where I can I go; there is no point. Nor am I going to ask what I’m going to do when I get there, because there is no point.

I turn on the spot until I’m facing in the opposite direction. Everyone who passes me doesn’t even notice that I’ve been standing here for long time, without moving. I don’t care. I shouldn’t be here for them to notice. My legs won’t move because they have nowhere to go, and my brain won’t decide until I’ve decided for it. I have no instincts because I have nothing to have instincts for. All I can do is stand here. But I don’t want to because I’ll be in people’s way. They already have to walk around me, and that is adding valuable time to their journeys.

I feel like I’m repeating the same thoughts over and over again, but what else is there to think about? My head starts to hurt with struggling to comprehend the fact that there is nothing for it to focus on. I have never been in a situation where there was nothing for me to think about.

Is this what it was like for Sebastian when he struggled to decide on something? We’ve both lost count with how many times he’s struggled to decide between two or more things, whether it’s cake, what film to watch, where to go when outside, what to do when outside. Is this what he feels every time? Except, this is way, way worse… maybe. I thought I understood how Sebastian’s mind works, but it turns out that I didn’t know a thing. Because I never felt what it was like to be him, I now know that I never fully understood. Does that make any sense? Probably not. All that changed when he found the watch. He became instantly confident and was able to decide without hesitation. I wish I had the watch. I would be able to go home with a push of button. It’s as simple as that. I wish I would simply stumble across the watch so that I can put it on my wrist and then go home. I would be able to do anything I like. Anything, without worrying about, well, anything because I can do anything. I wish I had the watch…

I hope Amy is alright. I wonder what world she’s in. I wonder where she is in that world, whether or not she is able to fend for herself. I hope she’s happy. Maybe Sebastian’s already found her and they are trying to look for me. Maybe they have already found me…

How would that work? How could they have already found me if I’m still here? My headache grows stronger from trying to think about that, so I gave up.

I know I’ve already made the things I can think about stale. If I keep repeating those thoughts, they will soon become meaningless. All I can do now is stand here and watch the world go by, and wait for Sebastian to arrive with his watch and take me home. That is all I can do.

My stomach growls even louder than before. My throat starts stinging with thirst. I don’t have any money. Always going around in circles; never deciding on anything.

Look at all these people walking by, not noticing me; I shouldn’t be here for them to notice me so I don’t care. I can go anywhere and they won’t notice me, because I shouldn’t be here…

I can go anywhere… and do anything?

Because I shouldn’t be here, will I be able to do anything I like? I doubt it. But what would it matter if I didn’t. I wouldn’t be here for long. When Sebastian and I were in another city in a nightclub – which I am classing as one of my greatest achievements; getting Sebastian inside an actual nightclub – I once said, ‘it doesn’t matter. They won’t care whether you are dancing or not. They are minding their own business and so they simply won’t notice you dancing. And besides, you won’t ever be seeing them again so you can make a fool of yourself as much as you want’. I think that last part was what put him off further, but my point still stands. I should practice what I preach. I won’t be here for long and so I can make a fool of myself. I can dance.

I need food and water… so… I’m going to get some food and water.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Thanks for reading

Antony Hudson

(TonyHadNouns)