The Written Podcast: “You Should Have Been There”

We’ve all been there; in that moment that would never be created again. Whether it was unintentionally set up via a running joke, or a series of fortunate events coinciding perfectly to create one sudden surprise. These moments are commonly shared between either two of you or as part of a group, and of course, cannot be retold to simulate the same effect.

It’s those moments we can’t help but want to tell someone who wasn’t there, so they could hear about what happened, but there’s one problem: You can’t retell it. You can attempt to spread the word, but once you’ve gotten to the punchline, you’re met with only but blank stares and/or confusion because they simply don’t understand what you’ve just said and any attempts to make them understand requires a history lesson about running jokes and these precise events. Unfortunately, giving this lesson only makes the listener bored and potentially even more confused, but which at that point the effect has worn off completely and you resort to the only sentence you can in to justify your failure at telling your story: “you should have been there.”

We’ve all either made the attempt to tell a story or have been on the receiving end of a badly told one, only to end with those famous words. It’s mainly our curiosity which drives us to make the other person tell that story, because of course you would want to know what’s making them laugh so hard the next morning. Whilst on the giving end, sometimes we’ve uttered the words before even beginning the story – some people accept that and move on, other people take the risk and push us to tell them what happened, only to end inevitably, in a mess of words and emotions, making them realise they should have moved on upon discovering this was a story they knew before being told it, wouldn’t be one they’d understand fully.

I can fill this article with a story that happened of which you definitely should have been there to appreciate why, for us two, was so funny. My eyes were streaming with tears from laughing so hard. It was one running interwoven with original jokes, allowing for each joke to have that much more impact, and the climactic ending left us both wiping our eyes. I could make the attempt to explain, but I’d have to go back a couple of years, a couple of YouTube videos, and the entire plot of a film, including our thoughts on that film. Once you’ve then understood all of them, only then can I start explaining my story which led up to that one moment. It’s not necessary to do all of that.

Those moments we tell other people they should have been there; we need to appreciate more. Those moments are drenched in history, and proves how bonded you are to your friend(s) for that one moment to make the most impact. Those moments don’t have to be full of history – the precise set of circumstances can start blooming at the beginning of an evening, whether that’ll be at a gathering at someone’s house, or at a night club, or anywhere really. But even then, a group of friends who’d only even fully understand that one moment no matter how long it took to set up, need to appreciate it more when it does.

By failing to recreate the moment for someone else through storytelling, shows us all how unique those moments really are, and how practically impossible they will be if attempted to be recreated again. Those moments are spontaneous, improvised – not maliciously planned beforehand. No one is following a written script, it’s entirely down to being within that moment, and enjoying it for the brief time it’s arrives.

With how easy it is to film everything nowadays, a lot of moments can be captured forever, and shown to whoever in the future. The next morning, at work, certain moments are passed around and viewed by many. They’ll understand what’s going on in the video, that’s for sure – whether with laughter, shock, awe, a video is able to transmit that over without having to explain it, because explaining what’s happening in the video is hard.

But, even then, there are some moments, which weren’t captured by video, and because they weren’t recorded or documented in any way other than by people’s memories, which hold the most impact. Those moments that only yourselves know and have experienced, and can revisit whenever you want via your memories – need to be appreciated more, because they are genuinely more powerful than that of a video. If the entire night was filmed, and those precise set of circumstances happened and that one moment was created, those watching would still be confused, because they wouldn’t understand the many references or the jokes – they’ll just stare blankly at the video, maybe letting out a chuckle here and there at the original jokes now and again.

Of course, even knowing how difficult it is to tell a story of that nature, you do so anyway, and even knowing it’s a story you won’t understand, you’ll ask to hear it anyway. It’s one of those mysteries we’re not going to figure out so automatically fill it under curiosity – curious as to what happened and curious at how the other person will react. That phrase, despite being said so many times over, doesn’t hold any weight, because we will only but push it to one side. Some will accept the inevitable and therefore move on, and I we’ve all been confronted with that decision, with which we’ve chosen to stand down and move on – and it’s a rare occasion.

Thanks for reading

Antony Hudson

(TonyHadNouns)