Mum's Monday: Father Ted

Good Luck Father Ted.

In this first episode we are introduced to three Priests Father Ted Crilly (Dermot Morgan), Father Dougal McGuire (Ardal O’Hanlon) Father Jack Hackett (Frank Kelly) and their house keeper Mrs Doyle (Pauline McLynn) living/exiled on Craggy Island. Ted had some money resting in his account, Jack likes his Drink and girls a bit too much and Dougal is to say the least young and simple. It is strange what Dougal sees out the window and they have to remember that if Dougal wants to watch TV Jack doesn’t like it. It is amusing to see Dougal play a prank on Ted, but it wasn’t fun for Ted. I like the interpretation of a carrot and a donkey in the use of a bottle of drink and Jack. Fun Land has arrived on Craggy Island; I don’t know why they call it Fun but it is amusing. We are also introduced to the warring married couple John O’Leary (Patrick Drury) and Mary O’Leary (Rynagh O’Grady) who’s comic timing when they talk together and then Ted is well done. I don’t think Dougal is cut out to be a Priest, it is fun to listen to his take on religion. Father Ted and Jack should be careful where they sit and the TV people really should be careful who they interview.

Entertaining Father Stone.

Dougal hasn’t much of an imagination when offered three wishes. We are now introduced to Father Paul Stone (Michael Redmond), the most unreactive, uninteresting and uncommunicative Priest there is, he has visited every summer for six years. Breaking the news, that the household has a visitor to Jack, isn’t that straightforward. Having a bath is not so simple either. I don’t see why the birthday party was affected or evolved around father Stone. Also Ted should be careful what he wishes or prays for, but Paul is fine.

The Passion of Saint Tibulus.  

The build up to the question Dougal asks Bishop Len Brennan (Jim Norton) about his son is long and drawn out but it works so well. We find out more of why the three Priests are on Craggy Island. We also find out that to make something more popular you organise a protest against it. John and Mary are on fine form as always and Jack with the help of a controversial video recording saves the day. It seems they are staying put on the island. It is brilliant how all the aspects of the episode all links together.

Competition Time.

Normally you would say ‘You can’t have too many Elvis’s but Ted doesn’t agree. The set up on Father Dick Byrne (Maurice O’Donoghue) side of the telephone looks very familiar. You have to feel sorry for Henry sellers (Niall buggy) his quiz show however, is so well scripted you get some idea of what caused him the problem for him to leave the BBC. I am a bit concerned about Jack’s drinking problem, not so much of the amount of alcohol he drinks but what is included on the list of what he does drink, which strangely includes Toilet Duck. Now you have heard of the ‘Laughing Policeman’ but we have, you could say the ‘Laughing Priest’ and four hours in a car with said Priest is too long. Sorry the English papers are off limits. Mrs Doyle is persistent but giving a person with a drinking problem a sherry nightcap. Craggy Island is just not ready for the consequences, Sgt Deegan (John Olohan) seems to know what he is doing, it’s like watching a nature film. The genius idea for all the Priests to be Elvis deserves the 10 out of 10 it got.

And God Created Woman.

Anyone would think Father Ted is either being stalked or is doing the stalking or in other words, ‘good luck with the book’ Polly Clarke (Gemma Craven). The nuns have arrived and Father Ted has double booked for 7pm, it is a bit awkward when one lie after another is stumped by Dougal, and he’s off, he makes it to a house-warming via the post office. This is amusing to watch.

Grant Unto Him Eternal Rest.

With ear plugs the beginning is funny Father Jacks lips are moving but there is no sound. We see that floor polish and a priest don’t mix, resulting in Dougal reading, I want to say ‘the last rites’ but when he starts by trying to marry Jack to a nun I think he should leave the last rites to another Priest. However, there are some strange Priests out there and can money just rest in an account? It is sad to see Ted and Dougal don’t accept a female solicitor. It is nice to see Ted remember Jack in a good way, although the reality is not so nice. The snow scenes are lovely but Jack doesn’t like the words said. We see floor polish versus half a million pounds, half a million pounds would buy a lot of floor polish.

Hell.

July the 19^th, what happens on July the 19^th? Answer Holidays. It is great that we now know the difference between small cows and cows that are far away, it is so funny to watch. Just when the holiday looked dull, Father Noel Furlong (Graham Norton) turns up, although Ted would prefer the dullness. You just know which button will be pressed on the lorry, still amusing to watch though. It seems Jack had a better holiday.

Think Fast, Father Ted.

It is nice to see the raffle prize arrive to help raise funds for a leaky roof, but it doesn’t last long. Who’d have thought there was so much to talk about? on and on he goes. To hear the one song being played over and over again, I can’t help think this is strange because there is an A side and a B side to a vinyl record, so there would be a choice of two songs. When life gives with one hand, Jack, two trucks, a gambling Priest and a tree takes with the other.

Tentacles of Doom.

It is in no way strange how ghost stories can be disproved. With three Bishops visiting to upgrade a very important stone, which was so carefully chosen for the honour, well not really. The Craggy Island household has to prepare, this is amusing to watch preparations unfold and as well as fun it is also scary, when Mrs Doyle loses her contact lens. I am glad Ted told Dougal that the Bishops had arrived, they bring their own amusements. It is brilliant how each question can be answered by a few simple words. Coming up with the script must have took some thought. The conclusion, three Bishops arrive and one hippy, one Bishop leaves with a stone put somewhere with a paramedic in an ambulance and one coffin leave.

Old Grey Whistle Theft.

That is the strangest picnic I have ever seen. Now it is sad to see the dark side of the island, a crime has been committed. The horror of it quickly escalates. The whistle has been found and the correct culprit has been found out. Although sadly, Dougal hasn’t learnt anything from the experience.

A Song for Europe.

This shows Ted shouldn’t really do requests. Eurovision fever is running through the Craggy Island household and one quick phone call from Dick Byrne sees the song writing begin, well sort off. And let the performance commence, only to be shot at. A chance finding of a B side record and a plane crash sees the song for the competition has a whole new upgrade. However, after Ted takes an elevator, the song goes back to the original. It is clever, the reasons for the first surprise result.

The Plague.

At the start of this episode a naked sleep walking Priest can be more scary than a ghost and you have to question ‘How hard is it to name a rabbit? For Dougal very hard and leads to a lot of confusion. You have heard of the phrase ‘Water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink’ well we have ‘Rabbits rabbits everywhere and a Bishop on his way who hates rabbits. Sadly, there are two meanings to ‘Take care of something’, one is nurture, feed and give them a pen to run around in and the second one is in a gangster kind of way where the outcome is not good, this also shows you should never annoy someone holding a sword. Whilst Bishop Brennan is checking out the security arrangements to stop Jack escaping and sleep walking again Mrs Doyle finds the Bishops car which is actually petrol we amusingly find out. This shows that when you have a plague of rabbits, you put them in the last place the Bishop would look, in his room of course. The room behind the kitchen and the cellar are just too obvious. It seems Jack is like the ‘Pied Piper’ to rabbits and his car is the least of Bishop Brennan’s worries though by the end. This episode is fun and keeps you on the edge of your seat as to when the Bishop would come across the rabbits.

Rock A Hula Ted.

As with everything there always seems to be someone in opposition, in this case Niamh Connolly (C.P. Grogan).  Someone ought to tell the Priest that it is only faulty or shoddy because he is breaking it. It is amusing to see Ted judge the ‘Lovely Girls’ competition because of a well-timed punch in the stomach from Jack. And yes Dougal there is someone at the door, you hear it because you are standing next to it, so it is silly that he is calling for Mrs Doyle. Whilst Ted is out, on bad advice given to Dougal, Dougal gives away the house to Niamh. It is good to see Mrs Doyle will hopefully be appreciated from now on as making tea falls apart in her absence.

Cigarettes and Alcohol and Rollerblading.

Lent has come around and Ted, Dougal and Jack as is required of Lent, it is known that you have to give up something. It is a shame Ted didn’t give up being gullible. The hallucinations are so funny. It seems Ted Dougal and Jack need help, but strangely it is going to cost money. It is good to see Jack sober, it is also so funny him getting to grips of where he is, who he is with and life as a whole. It is good to see that a blue jumper is so important in Dougal’s life. And so the basic package /sacrifice begins. I would hate to see a loud getaway, they return with some new information and now we see Sister Assumpta (Rosemary Henderson) owes Ted a favour and he knows just the thing, whilst Ted, Dougal and Jack are having some fun.   

New Jack City.

Jacks hairy hands have reached stage six, so an over protected Doctor Sinnot (Vass Anderson) needs to take a look at him. It seems Jack has to go away. It is sad to see Jack has been replaced. It seems inappropriate to say about a program about Priests ‘Better the Devil you know’ but in this case the term fits. There is just one thing to do after a few attempts, get Jack back.

Flight of terror.

Ted, Dougal and Jack are on a flight, this shows what you shouldn’t say or for that matter do on an aeroplane. This also shows the importance of listening during an emergency. it also it seems sticky tape can save the day. It is funny to see what Ted bought home from the flight.

Are you right there, Father Ted?

Sadly, for Father Ted old habits die hard. When it comes to war memorabilia there are appropriate and inappropriate items, Ted has certainly made his choice. Who’d have thought cleaning could be so boring then fun, well not for the people from the Chinatown area of the island. It is sad to see things escalate, and Ted is ‘Not a Racist’. I suppose Dougal had to have a good idea at some point. This episode shows the importance of keeping medicine and poison safely separately. When a Priest’s last wishes and a delivery gets muddled up it doesn’t look good for Ted, and a year’s supply of whiskey didn’t last long, once Jack got hold of it.

Chirpy Burpy Cheap Sheep.

The sound effects are well timed and so amusing although some are not the record. It is lovely to see Jack having time off from his usual self. It looks like the islanders have to look out for the beast. Hiding in a cupboard, yes may be safe. It was thoughtful of Mrs Doyle to get some special sheep tea. It wasn’t a good idea to leave Dougal sheep sitting. It seems Ted’s detective work has sadly lost them the heating money, but still it was good to see justice win out.

Speed 3.

Well the new milkman Pat Mustard (Pat Laffan) has certainly made an impression on the island. So much so that he loses his job and now Dougal is filling in, but Pat after being a bit crude has left a present on the milk float. The dramatic scenes keep you on the edge of your seat, however, ridicules it gets. The Mass was a nice touch but was no help at all, it is time for action, not another Mass and also not a time to watch a film. It is good to see a brick become very useful and Dougal returning to the Priesthood with some amusing added knowledge about the women on the milk round. It is fun to see the brick return safely back to Ted and he may agree when he regains consciousness.

The Mainland.

Ted, Dougal, Jack and Mrs Doyle are on the mainland. Jack is at the opticians. This shows how advertising and promotional perks can even affect an eye test and is not necessarily a good idea. This also shows that if a TV personality has a catch phrase, in this case Richard Wilson (Himself) AKA Victor Meldrew from ‘One Foot in the Grave’ ‘I Don’t Believe it’, chances are you wouldn’t be the first person to have some fun with it. This episode shows that if you go for coffee you really ought to work out who pays at the end. It is so funny to see Jack accidently at an Alcoholic Anonymous AA meeting. Whilst all this is going on Ted and Dougal are now lost in the caves with Father Noel Furlong and his group, this doesn’t end well for Noel, his group however, are off abroad and what is a bin man going to do? Answer, ride his dust cart and collect bins.  Who’d have thought that a trip to the mainland would lead Ted to spending his 200 pound winnings to bail Mrs Doyle and Jack out of jail. ‘I Don’t Believe it’ they return home and they have a visitor. Richard Wilson was a good sport.

Escape from Victory.

Ted has gone mad, convinced he has been bugged and with football fever it seems he is mad, but when Dougal goes for an ice cream the van makes a quick getaway. I never thought I’d see the day where Jack says ‘More water’ but in certain circumstances I see why he said it. Also how hard can it be to stop the corner flags being stolen. I see it will take a bit of time for Mrs Doyle to understand and support football, but she is getting there. We see the results of reading a book, the power of a book it has unleashed a group of women football supporters, and when it matters the corner flags are safe, which is good to see. Oh no the forfeit has arrived and that will be the next episode…

Kicking Bishop Brennan up the Arse.

It seems it is looking harder to do than Ted first thought, it is surprising that Dougal has come up with a good idea. it is amusing to see Bishop Brennan rendered speechless. Mrs Doyle can only go on what she has been told, he says the opposite of what he means. Sarcasm is not a good idea. What Bishop Brennan says to the Pope shouldn’t be the first thing he says to him however, amusing it is to watch. It is good to see Dougal was listening and followed Ted’s orders to the letter, well not for Ted.

Night of the Nearly Dead.

Poetry fever has hit Craggy Island. This is a perfect example of the difference between a TV face and real life and in some cases ‘You should never meet your hero’.

Going to America.

Ted has a hidden agenda to saving Father Kevin’s (Tommy Tiernan) life, 20 quid. I don’t think playing ‘Snakes and Ladders’ is the best game to play with someone who is depressed. Father Buzz Cagney (Jeff Harding) is impressed by Ted’s lifesaving skills and has made Ted an offer he isn’t refusing. It is nice to see Kevin cured through the power of music, well almost. It seems America isn’t the dream posting Ted thought it would be. It is nice to see all the fun Ted and the others have had over the years again ‘Better the devil you know’ although as a program about Priests not the Devil but the equivalent.