The Watch – Part 248:

(Tom’s perspective)

How do I get out of here? That’s the question that I need to answer as soon as before someone comes to collect me to take me back to that room where Dr Amanda will do what is necessary to try and make me talk. From the looks of this cell, there is no way I can break out of here, so I should swipe that idea from my mind right now. The only option I can think of is to make a move when someone comes to collect me.

That means I need prepare for any opportunity. How strong is the person? What equipment does he have? Where are any of the exits when I eventually get away from him? Will he call for backup? Those are all but some of the questions that I need to answer before I do anything, and answering even one of them is going to be tricky.

I really don’t think this is the best time to say that I’ll just make it up as I go along and hope for the best, because that can lead me to the worst possible outcome. Then again, so can a well-thought out plan if it doesn’t go as planned. If a well-thought out plan hits a pump along the way, it is high time to start making it up as you go along to try and get the plan back on track or to complete it altogether. If I go in without a plan, maybe not having that pressure of worrying whether it is going to go right or not would actually help me think clearer, or maybe not having a plan at all would result in me making a horrific mistake. The last thing I want to happen is for me to end up in a worse position than I already am, if there is ever such a position.

I don’t know a single thing about this place to know where any of the exits are. At this rate I’ll be running around like a headless chicken, darting here and there in the hope that I don’t meet anyone coming the opposite way, which is bound to happen because they know this place like the back of their hand – I can only presume because they work here – and then Dr Amanda can make a statement about how I tried to escape, failed and may even try harder to make me talk. OK, the last part I can’t be sure on, but that is a possible outcome, the more I think about it.

I have no idea how strong the person who is coming to collect me is. What are the chances of Dr Amanda coming to collect me herself? I doubt it considering she had one of her people take me back to my cell after she had finished with me, and I can only make an educated guess that they would have to be somewhat strong enough to handle certain situations, especially when prisoners try and make their grand escape. And as weak as I am, all they would have to do is perform one good tackle and I’ll be done for the pin, then I’ll be back in that room, tied up and…

And as for what equipment they will have, does it really matter? Whether it is a gun, or a baton, or a set of handcuffs, I can be sure that they will be used against me and I do not want to be on the receiving end of them, especially a gun.

I don’t want to go back there, but I’m afraid that I might end up there anyway, attempt or no attempt at breaking out of here. I might just have to accept what’s going to happen and let it happen. I might suffer from it, but, looking at it darkly, the longer I don’t talk for the longer she’ll keep me alive for. The only problem with that is she will push me further and further towards my breaking point each and every time she tries to get the information out of me. I don’t know when my breaking point is, and at this point, I’m too afraid to ask.

I don’t want to give up, yet I’m afraid that may be the only thing I have left to do. No matter what happens from here on, there is one thing that I will never allow to happen: Telling Dr Amanda what I know. I will not let her win. She does not deserve to win. She deserves to have what happened to me happen to her. That may be a bit strong… actually, is it? I think it would make me just as bad as her if I want the same thing to happen to her, but I refuse to let her win. I don’t care what I have to do to make that happen, but she will not win. How many times do I have to tell myself that before I can convince myself not to give up? I never said that I would give up, I was only contemplating giving up trying to escape, not giving up altogether. This is getting a bit confusing now.

I’ve lived my entire life just making it up as I go along, why should this be any different. I was then going to say that it was because I was making it up as I go along that I ended up here, but that cannot be further from the truth.

I think I should just go ahead and do it. Make it up as I go along. I don’t need to know what the worst that can happen is. How many times have I failed at doing something by planning it? I actually can’t answer that because I haven’t been keeping track, but I can say that it has been a lot, but how many times have I succeeded in doing something by making it up as I go along? I can’t answer that either, but again, I know that it has been a lot. That’s all I need to motivate me to just get on and do it.

‘Alright, you,’ a voice came from the other side of the door, ‘Dr Amanda wants to see you again.

Thanks for reading

Antony Hudson

(TonyHadNouns)