The Watch - Part 21

‘Question number one. How long is the Amazon River in Kilometres?’ the Quiz Master said. The entire room was silent as everyone thought about the answer. Timothy and Josie were already talking fast and writing something down. ‘Take as much time as you need,’ he said.

‘Do you know the answer?’ Tom asked me.

‘Um…’ I said trying to remember certain pieces of information that I had read a little while ago. ‘I remember reading a book about the Amazon River,’ I said to Tom. By now, over half of the tables had written something down and waiting for the next question.

‘They were right about saying that this quiz was going to be hard,’ Tom said, scratching his head as if that was going to make him think better.

‘Six thousand, four hundred and thirty-seven Kilometres,’ I said with my eyes shut, picturing the book that I had found that piece of information in.

‘You sure?’ Tom asked.

‘Pretty sure,’ I said, not completely confident, I won't admit that to Tom.

‘Then we will go for it,’ he said writing it down.

‘Question number two,’ the Quiz Master said after everyone had written down their answers. ‘What is the atomic number of Yttrium and the atomic number of Scandium added together?’

‘Now that’s what I call a question,’ Tom said. ‘I used to know all the atomic numbers of all the chemical elements within the periodic table,’ he said. ‘I only know a few now, and those two are unfortunately, the ones I’ve forgotten.'

‘It’s a good job I know them all then, isn’t it,’ I said.

‘It is a good job indeed,’ he smiled.

‘Sixty,’ I said simply. I know the entire periodic table off by heart, so that was a rather easy question for me. ‘The atomic number of Yttrium is thirty-nine and Scandium’s twenty-one,’ I reeled off. ‘Together they make sixty.'

‘Sweet,’ Tom said writing down our answer.

‘Question number three,’ the Quiz Master boomed after everyone had written down their answers for question 2. ‘UNIVAC is an example of… What?’

‘That’s an easy question,’ I said.

‘What’s the answer then,’ Tom said, pen in his hand.

‘A first generation computer,’ I said. Tom wrote down exactly what I said, word for word. If we keep this up, nothing will stop us.

The following questions were as follows:

***

Q4: ‘Out of these four planets, which one is the smallest? Mercury, Pluto, Venus, or Neptune?"

‘Pluto,’ Tom said excitedly.

‘Mercury,’ I corrected.

‘How is it Mercury? That’s many times bigger than Pluto.'

‘But Pluto is no longer considered an actual planet. It’s a dwarf planet,’ I explained.

‘Oh, of course it is,’ Tom said as the penny dropped. ‘That’s a nasty question.’

***

Q5: ‘What are the names of the three stars that make up Alpha Centauri?’

'Centauri A, Centauri B and… And…’ I couldn’t remember the other one. ‘Proxima Centauri,’ I said a bit too loudly as I remembered excitedly. Everyone looked at me as I sunk down into my chair.

‘Looks like someone’s enthusiastic,’ the Quiz Master teased. I made a mental note not to do that again.

 ***

Q6: ‘What is the approximate equatorial circumference of the Earth?’

'Forty thousand Kilometres,’ Tom said enthusiastically. ‘I think.’

‘I don’t know that one so I’m taking your word for it.’

***

Q7: ‘Who wrote the book, ‘The God Father’?’

‘I have not a clue,’ I said.

‘Me neither,’ Tom said. ‘Are you sure you can’t remember anything.’

‘I’ve never read the book, watched the films or had any meaning to have the knowledge of those books,’ I said.

‘We have to pass the question then,’ Tom said disappointed.

‘I don’t want to write nothing, though. Let’s guess someone, anyone.’

‘Norton Juster,’ Tom said.

‘He’ll do.’

A: Mario Puzo.

***

Q8: ‘The alloy of aluminium used for making a magnet is?’

‘Alnico,’ Tom said. ‘I remember learning about that yesterday when browsing the Internet.'

‘You were browsing the Internet and came across that,’ I said a little disbelieving.

‘I know, right,’ Tom said wriggling the pen around in his forefinger and thumb whilst he waited for the next question.

***

Q9: ‘What is needed to build dynamic web documents? CGI, Java, or HTML?’

‘Well, that’s a trick question and a half,’ I chuckled.

‘Why?’

‘Because they are all needed,’ I said.

‘Oh,’ Tom said aghast. ‘That is a trick question. If we put all of the above down that would suffice as an answer, do you think,’ he suggested.

‘I reckon no matter what answer we put down, we would get it right, but we would get it more right if we said all of the above,’ I explained.

‘Awesome,’ Tom said, writing what we said down.

***

Q10: ‘What does the word ‘gnosis’ mean in Greek?’

‘Do you know any Greek?’ Tom asked me.

‘Nope,’ I said simply.

‘Me neither.’

‘Do you want to guess?’ Tom asked.

‘I think we might have to,’ I admitted.

‘What does the word sound like to you, then we can write down an answer based on that?’

‘If I’m honest,’ I said trying to put the pieces together, it beginning sounds a lot like, ‘know’.

‘I think I know where you’re going with this,’ Tom said happily.

‘I think it sounds a lot like knowledge,’ I said.

‘Then that is the answer we’re going for,’ Tom wrote the answer down fast so that we don’t miss the next question.

***

Q11: ‘If feline cat-like, what is ranine?’

‘Oh, I used to know this one,’ Tom said searching through his brain to try and find the answer.

‘Frog-like,’ I jogged his memory.

‘That’s it,’ Tom pointed the pen at me to say that I was correct.

***

Q12: ‘What is sciophobia the fear of?’

‘I know this one,’ Tom said writing it down before I could ask for I didn’t know myself.

‘Shadows?’ I questioned.

‘Yep.’

‘You sure?’

‘Yep, why?’

‘Nothing, I thought it was something else, that’s all.'

‘What?’

‘Doesn’t matter now. Next question.’

'It does matter. Have I got the question right, or not?'

'You do,' I nodded.

'Then that's alright, then,' Tom looked at me, silently asking why I did that. 'Now we can move on to the next question.'

***

Q13: ‘How many years in prison did the 12 members of the Great Train Robbery gang get between them in 1964?’

‘Three-hundred and five,’ I said.

‘You sure?’

‘Positive.’

‘Fair enough.’

A: 307.

***

Q14: ‘What country contains the largest number of active volcanoes?’

‘Indonesia,’ I said quickly.

‘I was about to say the same thing.’

***

Q15: ‘In which year was the numbering of houses first introduced?’

‘Haven’t a clue,’ I said.

‘Me neither.’

I stretched and sighed at the same time as I thought about what we could put for our answer, distracting Timothy and Josie who looked at me disapprovingly.

‘Put down sixteen-seventy-four,’ I said.

‘Is that the answer?’ Tom asked.

‘I doubt it, but at least it’s something.’

‘Fair enough.’

A: 1463

*** 

Q16: ‘How were Saturn’s rings formed?’

‘Wait a minute,’ Tom said looking at me, 'I know the answer to this one.'

‘So do I.’

‘Nobody knows, isn’t it?’

‘Yep.’

‘Now that’s what I call a trick question,’ Tom said chuckling.

***

Q17: ‘What does Laser stand for?’

‘Light amplification by stimulated emissions of radiation,’ I said without hesitation. ‘That’s one of the earliest pieces of information I learned,’ I said.

‘That was an easy one, yeah,’ Tom said.

***

Q18: ‘How many bones are there in a giraffe’s neck? Thirty-four, seven, eighteen, or twenty-two.’

‘I think it’s eighteen,’ Tom said, ‘although I’m not too sure.’

‘I used to know this,’ I said thinking hard. ‘I read this somewhere, but I just can’t remember where.’

‘Shall we put down…’

‘Seven,’ I said.

‘Seven?’ Tom said finishing his sentence.

‘I think we should yes,’ I said.

‘Then seven we shall put down.’

***

Q19: ‘How many Rubik’s cube combinations are there?’

‘Oh, heck,’ I said with my head in my hands. ‘I had this memorised off by heart at one point. Now I can barely say it.'

‘Whatever the number is, it’s going to be Massive, with a capitol ‘M’.’

‘I need a minute to remember,’ I said.

‘I don’t know if we have a minute,’ Tom said looking around. Timothy and Jose had already written down their answer. This wasn’t looking good.

‘Ok,’ I said, ‘I think I have the answer. My brain’s going to hurt after this,’ I said trying with all my might to remember.

‘Let’s hear it.’

I said, slowly but surely, ‘forty-three quintillion, two hundred and fifty-two quadrillion, three trillion, two hundred and seventy-four billion, four hundred and eighty-nine million, eight hundred and fifty-six thousand.’

‘And that’s how it’s done,’ Tom said dropping the pen.

‘You do know we have one more question to go before it’s over, don’t you?’ I said.

‘Oh, yeah. Well, that’s how it’s done for that question, then.’

‘Nah, you killed the moment.’

‘I did a bit, didn’t I?’ Tom said admittedly.

‘Next question.’

‘Question twenty,’ the Quiz Master said. ‘The final question. Brace yourself because this is the hardest question of them all. Only a handful of people has managed to get this.’ I looked around the room, seeing everyone sit up as straight as they could so not to miss a single word. If Timothy and Josie were any straighter, they would be bending backwards. It would be rather funny if I weren’t concentrating on what the Quiz Master will say next. He paused to build up tension before saying the last question in the quiz.

‘If I have ten ice cubes and you have eleven apples. How many pancakes will fit on the roof?’

‘What the heck?’ I said to Tom who looked like he was in deep concentration, as if he actually understood the question and is working it out. I looked around the room. Everyone was as confused as I was. Timothy and Josie were conversing to each other. I heard Josie say.

‘That doesn’t even make any sense.’

I felt a tap on my shoulder and looked around at Tom who was smiling at me.

‘You haven’t,’ I was stunned.

‘I have,’ he smiled.

‘How?’ I asked, ‘maths isn’t your strong suit, and I haven’t got a clue myself.’

‘I didn’t have to work it out, I just had to remember,’ he said cryptically, but before I could question him any further, he continued. ‘It’s a popular Internet meme,’ he said, which makes perfect sense now. He is always on the Internet. ‘I sent you that meme a couple of weeks ago and you said that this is a perfect representation of what math tests are like.’

‘I did?’

‘Do you want me to give you the answer,’ he said.

‘Please. It might jog my memory.'

‘Well,’ he said, ‘the answer is Purple, because aliens don’t wear hats.’

‘Oh, now I remember,’ I said loud enough to snap Timothy and Josie out of their intense conversation. I saw that they actually tried to work it out via complex math equations. They looked at us two with a stare that could kill. I smiled as if to say that we know the answer, and they looked even angrier.

Tom wrote the answer down and sat back, stretching his arms upwards and learning back, happy and content, satisfied that he managed to get the hardest question on the quiz.

‘Please remain seated whilst we go around collecting the answer sheets, we will add up the total scores and reveal who has won the country's hardest quiz,’ the Quiz Master said before leaving his stand and, along with the woman, went around the room, collecting up all the sheets of paper. The room was in complete silence whilst they totalled up our answers. You could hear a pin drop.

I used this moment to look around the room once more, seeing a load of nervous faces. Tom and I only entered this competition because we wanted a bit of fun, but it seems that everyone else is taking this extremely seriously, as if it could literally be life changing if they won. Timothy and Josie were watching the Quiz Master and his assistant with a stare that looked as if they were trying to telepathically make them say that they have won, and from what I have recently learnt over the last few hours, is that it is extremely hard to do so, and is not recommended in the slightest.

‘OK,’ the Quiz Master said, ‘we have totalled up the scores and I shall read them out in reverse order.'

‘In fourth place, with fourteen points, Team Star Eaters.’ The room was eerily quiet. I saw them look very disappointed at the news, but they tried to hide it as much as possible. ‘In third place, with fifteen points, Team Super Computers. In joint second place, with sixteen points, Team Avengers and Team Justice League.’ You couldn’t have made that up even if you tried. Timothy and Josie bowed their heads in disappointment, before realising something and looked straight at Tom and me.

‘And the winner is, with seventeen out of twenty points, Team Database.’

‘YES,’ Tom said standing up, punching the air. I couldn’t believe it. We actually won. We, the two people who decided to enter this quiz because it would be a fun, the two people who were constantly looked at as if we shouldn’t be here. I couldn’t help but smile a very broad grin.

‘Congratulations, Team Database,’ the Quiz Master said, ‘you have won the nation’s hardest quiz. Your prize is a hundred pounds in HMV vouchers.'

‘Awesome,’ Tom nearly tripped up the step as he ran onto the stage to collect his prize with me close behind him.

***

After we had collected our prize and left the quiz area – we were stared at as we left – we decided to get something to eat.

‘All that quizzing made me hungry,’ Tom said.

‘You’re always hungry,’ I said holding the vouchers in my hands.

‘Yeah, but now I’m extra hungry,’ he confirmed.

‘You mean starving,’ I said. I managed to put all the vouchers in my bag, making sure they didn’t bend.

‘No, extra hungry,’ Tom corrected me. 'It’s between hungry and starving. You wouldn’t understand.’

‘I really don’t,’ I said laughing. ‘Then after we’ve had something to eat, we can see if we want anything in HMV.’

‘Sounds like a plan,’ Tom said darting towards a Burger Kind. As we neared the fast food restaurant, the smell of all the burgers made my stomach rumble.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Thanks for reading

Antony Hudson

(TonyHadNouns)